The Impact of Songs
by mngurlstuckinva
Summary: It starts with how Mac thinks about Harm. It's all song fics so if you don't like them I suggest you don't read.
1. Chapter 1: Insensitive

The Impact of Songs

By: mngurlstuckinva

Chapter 1: Insensitive

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, even though I wish I did. Nor do I own the song insensitive, that belongs to Jann Arden. I'm just a lover of that song.

Author's Note: If you read this, first of all, please, please, please review it. And second you'll have to bear with me. I love writing, but I'm extremely slow at it (I get distracted too easily J). At some point this will be a 3-4 chapter story. It starts with how Mac thinks about Harm. I really haven't gotten much farther than knowing that all the chapters will be song-fics. So if you don't like them I suggest that you don't read this. Anyhow, let's get on with the story!

One night Lt. Col. Sarah (Mac) Mackenzie was driving home from a late night at the office of JAG headquarters. She glanced down at the clock which read 9:04. She knew that with the extent of the backup on the road it would be a while before she got home so she pushed the button for the radio. A new song was just starting and the DJ was saying, "And now an old favorite from Jann Arden. The song is insensitive."

The minute Mac heard the name of the song her ears perked up. It sounded so perfect considering how her relationship with her partner, Cmdr. Harmon Rabb Jr., had been going lately. He'd seemed so insensitive, to her at least.

_How do you cool your lips_

_After a summer's kiss_

After the first few lines she knew it was about her and Harm. About the night of her engagement party. The night when she was sure for the first time that she truly did love him.

_How do you rid the sweat_

_After the body bliss_

Now the next lines took some serious consideration, but she knew how it felt. Not that they'd ever slept together, but it was how she felt every time he touched her.

_How do you turn your eyes_

_From the romantic glare_

Oh how many romantic glares had they shared over the years. More than she'd care to count, that's for sure.

_How do you block the sound_

_Of a voice you'd know anywhere_

More like the voice she'd never forget as long as she'd live. She loved his voice, that certain huskiness that could just drive her wild. If she could just hear those three little words said with that voice, how she would do anything.

_Oh, I really should have known_

_By the time you drove me home_

_By the vagueness in your eyes_

_Casual good-byes_

_By the chill in your embrace_

_The expression on your face_

_That told me_

_You might have some advice to give_

_On how to be_

_Insensitive_

Now if that wasn't the truth! All the casual good-byes. She never knew quite how to handle them. Especially after the times in the office when he said something that she couldn't forget no matter how much she tried.

_How do you numb your skin_

_After the warmest touch_

_How do you slow your blood_

_After the body rush_

Just the slightest touch from him would set her skin on fire.

_How do you free your soul_

_After you've found a friend_

A friend, that seemed to be all that they'd ever be to each other. They could always count on each other to be there when they needed them, but she needed more than just a friend.

_How do you teach your heart_

_It's a crime to fall in love again_

There would never be a chance for her to fall in love again. After Harm it could never happen again. He was the only man for her, and she knew that.

_Oh, you probably won't remember me_

_It's probably ancient history_

_I'm one of the chosen few_

_Who went ahead and fell for you_

Oh God did she fall for him. She fell so fast that she never knew what hit her until that kiss. After the kiss she could never feel the same, about anyone.

_I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch_

_I fell too fast, I feel too much_

She was out of touch. He was always on her mind, even in the court room. The worst time was when she was against him in court. Then she couldn't take her eyes off of him. The way he held himself, how he spoke there, so confident without being cocky. He was just perfect.

_I thought that you might have_

_Some advice to give on how to be_

_Insensitive_

As the last notes of the song was played the traffic started to clear and she started home again with the thoughts of a certain Navy Commander on her brain. A commander that she was afraid would always be there.


	2. Chapter 2: Where You Lead

The Impact of Songs

By: mngurlstuckinva

Chapter 2: Where You Lead

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, even though I wish I did. Nor do I own the song Where You Lead, that belongs to Carole King. I'm just love that song.

Author's Note: If you read this, first of all, please, please, please review it. And second you'll have to bear with me. I love writing, but I'm extremely slow at it (I get distracted too easily J). At some point this will be a 3-4 chapter story. As you can already see, this is the second chapter. This time it's Harm that's put in the spotlight. I hope you all like it, and please review! Now, let's get on with the story!

Later that night, Cmdr. Harmon Rabb Jr. walked into his apartment. The minute he walked through the door he heard the song "Where You Lead" blasting through the room and Mattie, screaming at the top of her lungs to it. He instantly knew it, being an old Carole King fan himself, secretly of course. He quickly walked across the room and pushed stop on the stereo.

Mattie instantly turned around, "Heeeey, Harm." she said trying to change her tone of voice before he noticed it.

"Hi Mattie. May I ask why you're in here screaming along to this song, and not in your own apartment?" He asked setting his brief case down on the counter.

"Uh... because, you have a better stereo than we do." She shyly answered.

"Okay, so you wanted to blow out my speakers because you wanted to have the better stereo?" He asked pulling a zip-lock bag full of carrots and celery and a bottle of Ranch dressing out of the refrigerator.

"No, I just love that song and knew it would sound better on your stereo."

"Alright, but next time would you at least turn it down a little?"

She thought about it for about a minute, "Sure. Well I better get back over there, homework."

"Mattie!"

"Bye Harm." she said quickly leaving, not even thinking about her CD.

An hour later Harm was having some problems going through the case that he was currently working on. He decided that it would help to turn on some music, so without thinking he just pressed play on his CD player remote.

As the opening to a song started to play he knew that it sounded familiar, but it definitely wasn't what he'd put in his stereo. So he decided to let it play.

_Wanting you the way I do_

_I only want to be with you_

I only want one person, but I also know that will never happen. She could never want me. I'm to stupid, pigheaded, stubborn, but then again, she is a Marine.

_And I would go to the ends of the earth_

_Cause, darling, to me that's you're worth_

She's worth the earth, the sun, the moon, and the stars. I'd do anything for her.

_Where you lead, I will follow_

_Anywhere that you tell me to_

There's no where she could go that she could get me to not follow her, and she should know that by now.

_If you need, you need me to be with you_

_I will follow where you lead_

As long as she lead's I'll be there. Following her like a little puppy at her side, whether she likes it or not.

_If you're out on the road_

_Feeling lonely, and so cold_

_All you have to do is call my name_

_And I'll be there in the next train_

Train, plane, bus, you name it I'll be on it. All she has to do is call my name.

_Where you lead, I will follow_

_Anywhere that you tell me to_

_If you need, you need me to be with you_

_I will follow where you lead_

If she needs me there, all she has to say is the words, and I'll be there. Nothing could keep me away if she needed me.

_I always wanted a real home with flowers on the window sill_

_But if you want to live in New York city, honey, you know I will_

New York City, Rome, Paris, DC., where ever my Mac wanted to live, you know I won't be far.

_I never thought I could get satisfaction from just one man_

_But if anyone can keep me happy, you're the one who can_

Okay, one woman, but it's true. Before her I never thought I'd get married. I thought I'd be a bachelor all my life, but she makes me feel completely different.

_And where you lead, I will follow_

_Anywhere that you tell me to_

_If you need, you need me to be with you_

_I will follow where you lead_

Mac, just tell me you need me and I'll be there. Just say you need me too.

Once the song was over he knew what he had to do. He turned the stereo off and closed his brief case. He picked up his keys off the counter and locked the door as he headed to his car.

Author's Note: So that's chapter 2. I know that my chapters are short, but if I don't do them like that I'll just keep going and never know where to stop. I hope you all like it so far and keep reading. PLEASE, Please, please review.


	3. Chapter 3: Unknown

The Impact of Songs

By: mngurlstuckinva

Chapter 3: Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, even though I wish I did. Nor do I own the song Unknown, that belongs to Chely Wright. That song just sounds too much like me.

Author's Note: If you read this, first of all, please, please, please review it. And second you'll have to bear with me. I love writing, but I'm extremely slow at it (I get distracted too easily). At some point this will be a 3-4 chapter story. As you can already see, this is the third chapter. This time it's back to Mac. I hope you all like it, and please review! Now, let's get on with the story!

Finally at 10:30 that night Mac decided to make herself something to eat. While she was making her roast beef sandwich she hit the play button on the little boom box she had in her kitchen.

She instantly knew the song, and instantly regretted playing it, but she knew that she couldn't turn one of her favorite songs off. So she quietly listened to the song Unknown, by Chely Wright play.

_Fire and rain is my favorite song_

I've still never heard that song, but I have a feeling that I'd like it.

_I say a prayer at 11:11_

Ever since I was 5 I've said a prayer at 11:11. I always thought that it was a magical time. A time when God looks down on us a little bit harder.

_I could watch old movies all night long_

I've actually done that before. I absolutely love old movies, though I'd never admit it if anyone asked.

_I'm not sure about hell but I know there's a heaven_

Without heaven what do we have to look forward to later? Where would we see our loved ones again?

_Sometimes I feel so alone it scares me_

That happens more times than I'd like to think about; every time I wake up in the middle of the night, and every morning when I get up with no one there but me.

_I talk in my sleep but there's no one to hear me_

I've been told by Harm too many times that I talk in my sleep, I just hope I haven't said anything that I'll regret later.

_Unknown_

_I don't want to be unknown_

_The little things that make me who I am_

_I need to share_

_I need to know that someone cares_

I do know that someone cares, I just wish that he'd show it more. Sometimes it feels like he's not even there. Do I really know that he cares, or is it all just an act?

_That I drink coffee black_

Okay, so I don't drink my coffee black, no one's perfect.

_That I sing when I drive_

Now come on, who doesn't sing when they drive. I sure as hell do.

_That I sleep with the TV on_

I can't sleep without the TV on. I truly scare myself without it.

_More than anything_

_I don't want to be unknown_

I've always been unknown, and it feels like I always will be. I need someone here with me.

_I love September when leaves turn gold_

September is the most beautiful time of the year. Especially out here in DC, all of the trees changing colors. I wish that I could keep those colors forever.

_I get nervous in crowded places_

You'd never know it by how I act but it's true. I'm always nervous around crowds.

_Someday I want to see San Francisco_

I've already been to San Francisco before, but I wouldn't mind going again.

_I'm bad with names, but remember faces_

There's one name, and face that I'll never forget. Harm's face will never get out of my head.

_I need more than a kiss, more than a lover_

_I'm a world that's just waiting to be discovered_

I'm seriously hoping that someday he'll want do discover me. I just don't know how long to wait.

_Unknown_

_I don't want to be unknown_

_The little things that make me who I am_

_I need to share_

_I need to know that someone cares_

There's little things that make up everyone. Someday I hope to learn Harm's.

_That I write down my dreams_

Dreams are what your subconscious is trying to tell you that you want to happen. So I figure I'll learn myself better by writing them down.

_That I love when it rains_

I love rain. If I could I'd sit outside all day and read when it's raining.

_I burn candles when I'm alone_

It seems lately that there's always a candle burning around here.

_More than anything_

_I don't want to be unknown_

_More than anything_

_No one wants to be unknown_

No one wants to be unknown! If everyone would just learn that how much easier would it be for everyone else?

When the song ended she turned the boom box off and heard a quiet knock on the door. She went to it and opened it slowly, revealing who was on the other side.

Author's Note: I hope you all like it so far and keep reading. PLEASE, Please, please review. I haven't decided if the next chapter will be the last or not. It all depends on if I can find another song that works. Thank you to maidenpride21 for correcting me on some things. And a special thanks to Beach chickJASSNL for reviewing every chapter so far. Thank you two so much.


	4. Chapter 4: Speakin' of the Devil

The Impact of Songs

By: mngurlstuckinva

Chapter 4: Speakin' of the Devil

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, even though I wish I did. Nor do I own the song Speakin' of the Devil, that belongs to Dolly Parton. I'm just a lover of that song.

On the other side of the door was the man she'd been thinking of all night long, Harmon Rabb Jr. When she saw him a song that she used to listen to popped into her head.

_He's got a way of walkin'_

_He's got a way of talkin'_

_A way to fascinate me all the time_

He sure does have a way with those things. I could listen to him recite the entire phonebook.

_And he's got a way with women_

A way with the women, I'd say. When he walks into the bar he's the only person they see.

_A way to keep my head a swimmin'_

_He's got away too many times_

That man has without a doubt gotten away too many times.

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_Well, here he comes now_

_Lookin' like an angel_

Harm always looks like an angel. Although in personality at times he can be completely opposite.

_Got my defenses down_

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me schemin'_

Got me dreaming, oh yeah, but scheming that's a little much.

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_He is drivin' me wild_

_With that wicked little grin_

_And that fire in his eyes_

Wicked little grin/flyboy smirk, same difference.

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me steamin'_

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_It feels mighty close to heaven_

_And I'd go through hell to make him mine_

I've been through hell and back, but he's still not mine.

_He's got his spell upon me_

_Got to be his one and only_

_Burning with passion and desire_

His spell's been on me since that day in the rose garden, the day he took me over completely.

_Ooh, I'm caught up in all his magic_

_It surely would be tragic_

_To never share the heat_

_From all this fire_

Is it hot in here, or is that just him?

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_Well, here he comes now_

_Lookin' like an angel_

_Got my defenses down_

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me schemin'_

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_He is drivin' me wild_

_With that wicked little grin_

_And that fire in his eyes_

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me steamin'_

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_It feels mighty close to heaven_

_And I'd go through hell to make him mine_

Hell is nothing to me anymore. I'm in hell now without him.

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_Well, here he comes now_

_Lookin' like an angel_

_Got my defenses down_

My defenses are down so far I think that they're almost to China by now.

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me schemin'_

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_He is drivin' me wild_

_With that wicked little grin_

_And that fire in his eyes_

_He's got me dreamin'_

_Got me steamin'_

Steamin' would be an understatement. Boiling over would be closer to it.

_Ooh, speakin' of the devil_

_It feels mighty close to heaven_

_And I'd go through hell to make him mine_

_Speakin' of the devil_

_Speakin' of the devil_

_I'd go through hell to make him mine_

I'd go through hell, a million fires, and death if he were mine.

"Oh hi Harm." she said with a small smile on her face.

"Can I come in?" he asked, Mac could tell something was off about him, but she moved so he could come in.

Author's note: Sorry if you don't like cliff-hangers. I just like them because it keeps the person guessing what's going to happen next. As you all can tell this obviously isn't going to be the last chapter. I've decided that it's going to be about six-eight chapters long. I hope you can wait that long.


	5. Chapter 5: All or Nothing

The Impact of Songs

By: mngurlstuckinva

Chapter 5: All Or Nothing

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, even though I wish I did. Nor do I own the song All or Nothing, that belongs to O-Town. I'm just a lover of that song.

Harm went to sit on the couch as Mac shut the door. She could now tell he was nervous about something, but she didn't know what. He sat on the couch not able to sit still for more than a minute. He jump up and started pacing around the living room.

The whole time Mac just stood next to the door, waiting for him to say something, and trying to figure out what it was before he said it. She finally asked, "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Oh, uh...no. Would you just sit here for a minute?" he asked pointing to a chair at her desk.

"Sure." She hesitantly answered.

He was silent for a few seconds. Then he squatted down next to her. "Mac, how do you think of us?"

"In what way do you mean Harm?" She asked completely confused now.

"I mean are we just friends or are we more?" He asked, walking over to her stereo and turning it on to a pop radio station.

The DJ came over the radio and said, "We now have a request. The song is 'All or Nothing' by O-Town. This song goes to Sarah Mackenzie. Sarah you've got a great guy out there, his name is Harmon Rabb Jr." he said as the song started.

_I know when he's been on your mind_

_That distant look is in your eyes_

_I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over_

_It's not the way I choose to live_

_And something somewhere's gotta give_

_A share in this relationship gets older, older_

"Sarah, I don't know why Webb is doing this to you, but I don't like it. I wish that I could make it easier on you." He said walking back over to her.

_You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight somone who isn't even there_

_I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair_

"It's been eight years, I think it's been long enough. It's time for us." He continued.

_Cuz I want it all_

_Or nothing at all_

_There's nowhere left to fall_

_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_

_Is it all_

_Or are we just friends_

_Is this how it ends_

_With a simple telephone call_

_You leave me here with nothing at all_

"You've called me so many times when he's left you. I don't know why in the world you'd stay with a guy like Webb when he's never there for you."

_There are time it seems to me_

_I'm sharing you with memories_

"There are so many memories that we've shared, and so many more that I want to share with you."

_I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it_

_Then there's times you look at me_

_As thought I'm all that you could see_

_Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it_

"There are so many times you look at me like that. I've seen it in the court room even. I just wish I could see it everywhere."

_Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well_

_I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell_

"The best of you is all I want. Please show me Mac. I need you."

_Cuz I want it all_

_Or nothing at all_

_There's nowhere left to fall_

_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_

_Is it all_

_Or are we just friends_

_Is this how it ends_

_With a simple telephone call_

_You leave me here with nothing at all_

"It's now or never. I have no where left to fall Mac. Without you I have nothing at all."

_Cuz you and I_

_Could lose it all if you've got no more room_

_No room inside for me in your life_

"_I would loose it all if you're not with me. You are my life."_

_Cuz I want it all_

_Or Nothing at all_

_There's nowhere left to fall_

_It's now or never_

Again he whispered softly into her ear, his lips brushing her neck, "It's now or never."

_Is it all_

_Or Nothing at all_

_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_

_Is it all_

_Or are we just friends_

_Is this how it ends_

_With a simple telephone call_

_You leave me here with nothing at all_

As the song ended Mac was in tears. Harm had pulled back and she now leant down and kissed him.

Author's note: I'm sorry to all of you who've been waiting for another chapter, but I've decided to stop here. I guess to me it makes sense. Thank you to all of you who've reviewed and if you haven't that's ok too.


End file.
